I have come to realize with this whole SP craze in manifesting, that no one else can make us happy. They shouldn’t have to, it’s not their job. Before I continue on, what’s an SP you might be asking?
An SP is a specific person you want, it could be for friendship, a romantic love interest, a hook up or whatever reason you desire to have that specific person for. So many fall into the, if I can just get that person for whatever reason, then I will be fulfilled and happy.
Why is it we humans think that way. If I have X then I will be happy. Ever noticed you get X and your happiness is short lived. Where did that happy feeling go, you spent all this time building up whatever or whoever it was you wanted inside your mind, for who knows how long. Now the feeling is just gone?
Ahhh blame that dopamine rush you got. You got X, your brain released the dopamine to reward you and now the chemical has faded. Bummer, that totally sucks! That also explains addictions of any kind, shopping, oh the rush of buying things. Drugs release chemicals in the brain, your brain and body crave it and now your dependent on those drugs for that feeling.
Back to the SP. Say you get that person, ahh your on cloud 9, your in total bliss, so are they, everything is perfect and you live happily ever after. Wait, hold on there! Happily ever after is only in the movies, it’s not real. Sorry to ruin it for you.
So what’s going on? Everything is great, why are you starting to get slightly neurotic, jealous or clingy, why is your SP acting that way? Oh no, it’s the brain releasing different chemicals, first they cause you to be happy and feel so in love, ohhhhh swoon.
Now those same chemicals are causing you to feel jealous, anxious and clingy, not to mention paranoia is slipping in. Oh my God, I texted X a thousand times and they have not texted back or they keep texting you a billion times a day. Oh no, stop the madness, love is crushing now.
Seriously though, it’s Oxytocin that’s being released causing the feeling of love. Too much of it causes an imbalance and all the ill affects of love are kicking in now. High levels of this love drug being released cause heightened levels of emotional sensitivity. Thus the overreacting and feeling out of control and not knowing why.
Better yet the Amygdala gets triggered and thinks there is a fight or flight response causing your anxiety to skyrocket. Your brain thinks it’s in danger now. Oh great joy. There is alot of other stuff going on now too, cortisol is rising in the brain throwing you off as well.
I tried to find a solution to help lower Oxytocin, so myself and others can calm down and reduce the once great love feeling, which is now a terror of an emotional roller coaster. Unfortunately, I found nothing.
There was only mention of an inhibitor to block Oxytocin in female mice to help them become social butterflies and make friends. Maybe being aware that it’s not you, it’s a chemical chain reaction going on in your brain, that’s causing you to feel like your emotionally derailed might help you get back on track.
That and find other natural ways to raise your Oxytocin, when that new love isn’t around. Do you enjoy doing something, anything else than being with that SP? I know, I know, right now all you can think about is them and you just want to be with them 24/7. Don’t do it. As hard as it might be find another outlet of something you enjoy.
You don’t want to be the cautionary tale of, you spent all your time with that one love and you forgot you had a life before them. Live your life now without them, live your life when you have them as well. Even find one tiny thing you like to do. Eat dark chocolate it raises Oxytocin. You can feel the love that way too. Just don’t overdo it.