I am typing and wearing an eye patch. You never know how important something is until it’s gone. My left eye is covered and my right eye vision is slightly off because of my lack of left eye vision. I had been posting blogs daily, but yesterday was the first time in my writing streak I didn’t. I actually wrote my previous blog at the urgent care, while waiting for my tetanus shot to kick in. My Cockatiel pecked my eye and left me with an eye abrasion.

I think I might wear my glasses from now on when holding my birds from now. I have two other birds that try to pack my eyes as well. I have no idea why. Why are my eyes a magnet to be pecked at. Last month my cat scratched my eyelid by walking over my face. Really glad I had my eyes closed or I would have had several scratches in my right eye.

Now with all of this random stuff happening, the one thing I don’t want to do is be a victim and fall into the poor me attitude. I have a relative who plays the victim and does the poor me. I learned from them exactly how I don’t want to be now or ever! That same person is also a narcissist and is mentally, verbally and psychologically abusive towards me. I have been gas lighted by that person my entire life. It sucks! I can’t change them, nor do I want to. They are who they are. I am who I am and I want to continue learning to be me.

I never knew who I was growing up. I had no sense of self. I was just an extension of that relative. I was never allowed to be me or make my own decisions. Whoever I was, was rejected the day I was born. I grew up learning that everything about me was wrong, every thought and every decision I made was always wrong. I learned that something was wrong with me and always would be. I would never live up to unrealistic expectations thrown on me. Never mind the people who put those expectations on me could not live up to them themselves. To this day I have trust issues trusting any decision that I make.

If you don’t want children, don’t have them. If you can’t live up to the expectations you place on your children, for yourself, don’t put those expectations on them. It’s just not right! Maybe dysfunction people shouldn’t have kids. There should be a test people should take to see what kind of parents they will be. If the test shows that they will be toxic dysfunctional parents, don’t let them have kids. This will be doing a huge favor to those future children, trust me on that. It should be a priviledge to be a parent, not a God given right to procreate. That’s just my opinion though.

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