Questionable news

So what do you do when you receive questionable news. It’s not really bad, but it’s not really good. How are you supposed to feel? I guess there are no rules.

Today I received a call about my biopsy results on my right breast. I have some bilateral or lateral something with the nodule. It’s not cancer, but it could turn into cancer.

Hearing “it could turn into cancer” freaked me out. I know cancer is not a death sentence, but it’s still scary. Not to mention I’m doing all of this on my own. I haven’t told my family. I’m not going to.

I decided to not tell the family because they are dysfunctional. Somehow the smother would turn it around and make it all about her. The father figure would just be passive about all of it and say nothing.

Then another family member would chime in about how I have to get rid of my pets. The smother and father figure would agree. I may be a bit dramatic when I say that my pets keep me going.

My pets and I have been through so much together. Not having them would be so devastating. Actually it would be beyond devastating. They are more of a family to me than my actual family.

I’m not trying to be positive or negative about what happens next. I do wonder, will I end up needing surgery to remove whatever is going on. That’s another scary thing. Needing surgery and I don’t tell my family. I’m not thrilled with the idea of having to go under and be operated on.

The idea that what if I don’t wake up is lingering in my mind. What would happen to my pets? The family would probably dump them off at the animal shelter. All I know now is that I don’t like any of this.

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